Dear Reader,

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Recently, a heartbreaking incident shook the nation—a teenager took their own life after relentless bullying at school. While schools and peers play a role, the pressure from home is often overlooked. Academic expectations, social comparisons, and the fear of failure weigh heavily on children. Are we, as parents, unknowingly adding to this burden? Are we unintentional bullies?

Teenagers' vs. Parents' Fears

Teenagers' Greatest Fears

• Failure & disappointment – Pressure to meet expectations.
• Peer judgment – Fear of exclusion or ridicule.
• Not being good enough – Self-doubt and insecurity.
• Parental disappointment – Craving approval.
• Uncertain future – Anxiety about career and life.

Parents' Biggest Fears

• Academic failure – Concern about career prospects.
• Bad influences – Drugs, relationships, rebellion.
• Social reputation – "What will people say?"
• Mental health struggles – Worry but lack of understanding.
• Losing control – Fear of kids making wrong choices.

How Fear Turns into Unintentional Bullying

1. Comparisons & Criticism

• ❌ “Sharma Ji’s son got into IIT!” → Kills self-esteem
• ✅ “Let’s find what excites you.” → Encourages growth

2. Over-Control

• ❌ “You WILL take science!” → Suppresses independence
• ✅ “Let’s explore your interests.” → Empowers decision-making

3. Guilt-Tripping

• ❌ “We sacrificed everything for you!” → Creates anxiety
• ✅ “We love you no matter what.” → Builds confidence

4. Invalidating Feelings

• ❌ “What stress do you have?” → Shuts down communication
• ✅ “I’m here to listen.” → Fosters trust

5. Fear-Based Discipline

• ❌ “No phone if you don’t score well!” → Leads to secrecy
• ✅ “Let’s set realistic goals together.” → Encourages responsibility

Breaking the Cycle

• Acknowledge fears without projecting them.
• Communicate, don’t assume.
• Let them fail safely.
• Prioritise mental well-being over success.
• Trust your parenting.

From Fear to Faith

The best gift parents can give is belief—in their child’s abilities, dreams, and resilience. Let go of fear, trust them, and watch them thrive. 💙

I would love to know your experience.

Best wishes,

Alka

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